Have you ever sit and think, what if?

What if…

“Maybe you’re not what he wants, you’re just a replacement for what he can’t have.”

Here I am lying awake in bed, with my limbs tangled within my bedsheets. I don’t know if anyone ever felt like wanted to sleep for thousand years or just not exist or.. like not to be aware that you do exist. I know it is very morbid wanting such things, but.. I just want. In case you’re wondering why, it is because so that all those things will stop spinning and leads to not to think about it.

The insecurities are eating me alive. I’m all confused about you, you know. I know falling for you wasn’t the plan, but when you held me in your arms, something told me this is where I need to be. Even you know all the fights, the tears, the heartache, the fear of how it might end, the fall down and the moment I almost gave up but still for some reason, with you, I’m patient. Okay I should stop. Let’s just bottle it up, and store it with the other problems. ZzzZZ Bye !